Welcome!

Welcome to all of you who are or have ever been a military sweetheart!!! Indeed, there are a multitude of these groups available online, however, this one is specifically geared toward Kennesaw State University students who are currently in a romantic relationship with an active duty/reservist military service member. This is an official student organization complete with optional social gatherings and a newsletter that will contain advice, trivia, comic relief and a way for all KSU sweethearts to stay connected and support one another.

Some people believe we choose who we fall in love with. Those of us who have ever experienced it know better ;)

MY BACK STORY: I was 19 when I met my husband, Joshua. I hadn't had the best luck in relationships so I resolved to focus all my energies into school and work. Little did I know that while I made my plans, God had other things in mind. The military was not an unfamiliar entity in my history.
      My high school sweetheart was an infantryman in the Army in the 5 years we dated, so mandatory training, ranks and acronyms like PCS, MRE and PT quickly became a second language. But, like many high school relationships, we grew up and out of it, searching for bigger things while still remaining good friends. I didn't know that one day, that foundation would carry me through my marriage.
        Today I am a Navy wife. It took 6 months to fall head over heels, 8 weeks of boot camp letters before he proposed and 4 months to plan enough leave to plan a courthouse wedding in a $20 dress. Of course it took some convincing for my parents but when I was willing to fore go my fairy tale wedding just to be with him, I knew this was it.

DEPLOYMENT: I had gotten used to having to miss my guy for some training but it wasn't until his first deployment... ya know, with the real tanks, bombs and firearms... that I lovingly and devotedly... lost my frickin' mind.
     Somewhat similar to childbirth, you're never prepared for the full experience no matter how many times you do it or how many books you read. 
     In a lovestruck haze, I had signed up for a long distance marriage on top of full time school AND work. Saying goodbye to Joshua just 6 months into our marriage to go into a war zone was just the final straw that turned me from a cheerful, slightly OCD dance teacher into a hairy, mood swinging lunatic with Ben & Jerry's in one hand and a pick axe in the other.
     Between panic attacks, nightmares and feeling isolated from my civilian friends, I was spiraling into deep depression. Around month 3 out of 7 (short deployment), I was desperate for a kindred spirit. Thankfully, thats when Christine showed up.

THE BFF: Christine was another student at KSU whom I had been previously acquainted with in high school. At that time, she was a Marine sweetheart, an attribute that made us inseparable even to this day. We depended on each other for advice, cathartic humor, emotional support and solace. If one of us was on a proverbial ledge, the other would quickly pull them back to solid ground. It was at this point I decided I wanted to extend the same hand of support to others in our situation within the KSU student body.

THE SYSTEM:Joshua and I are going on our 3rd year of marriage and have found a "system" of technological communication (Skype, chat, text and phone) to cope with a constant 3000 mile distance. We live apart to both save money, and accomplish individual goals. We save money to visit one another as often as possible (usually every 1 to 3 months), which preserves the "honeymoon" feelings, forces open communication and trust, and support of the others ambitions without resentment or jealousy. Not to mention my expecations and plans have become very general, limited and open to change so disappointment is now minimal, should his orders change at the last minute.
     I don't recommend this lifestyle for anyone who is unsure of themselves or their partner. But to wrap up this whole first blog, every day, because of my long distance marriage to a sailor, I learn something new. I no longer presume nor assume anything of anyone anymore. I've learned how to help myself, get things done and trust in my husband's judgment (which is no small accomplishment sometimes).

I hope those of you going through this with me (first timers and seasoned spouses alike) are all aware of (and never forget) the balls it takes to keep this kind of bond strong and thriving. Civilian relationships don't always have the advantage of testing its limits from the start.

Those couples holding hands around campus that see one another every day between classes and complain about a weekend apart or missing that date because the other had to work that night? They will never know how it feels to wrap their arms around their partner after 10 months in a danger zone with nothing but the occasional email to indicate that they're alive.

Military relationships are not any better than others, just much more sensitive to how strong or fragile it is when put to the test. Its easy to get married to someone you know you'll see every day. Its a whole other beast to marry someone you don't know you'll see again.
We're much, much stronger than we think.